dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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