I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
