Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
