i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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