I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
