Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
