Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
