It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
