just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
