he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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