you would pick up someone in the library
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
