brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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