I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
