May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
