I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
