I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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