I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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