i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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