summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
