therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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