Me. At least after what I've been through.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
