I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
