Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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