Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
smell my finger.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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