I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
