I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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