He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
