Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
