quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
