butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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