I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
