He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
