i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
