I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's blow job season.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
