One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So squirting runs in the family.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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