I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
