Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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