He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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