Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
