Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
