i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well you can't waste a boner
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
