she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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