Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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