you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
