my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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