I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
