She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
send nudes
from the living room?
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