Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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