I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The uberlube is also flammable
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
