hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
don't judge my taste in strippers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
